Marriage Contract with Ali

Kris: Ask me a question.
Ali: What kind of question?
Kris: anything you want to know about me.
Ali: Okay, When are we getting married?
Kris: June 3rd, 2020
Ali: so long away? Awe, okay, I can wait..
Kris: its only so far away because i need to gt my fill of man sex and my man vibrator during college years
Ali: awe, you can still have man sex after we're married, as long as I can watch
Kris: I'm self consious when it comes to my man sex
Ali: it's okay, you'll get better
Kris: so why do you like man sex?
Ali: Hey, I'm the one asking questions, not you!
Kris: ask me another question
Ali: do i get sex on our honeymoon?
Kris: only once
Ali: do I get sex after our honeymoon?
Kris: No..well, okay, maybe once a month.
Ali: can i sex other people while we're not being intimate?
Kris: Yes
Ali: can i hide video cams and video tape us, for our own pornos?
Kris: I guess... and you can film my mansex and we'll open our own porn site
Ali: would you divorce me if your man fling told you to?
Kris: No
Ali: would you divorce me if you found stashes of child porn?
Kris: yes. and I would prolly turn you in
Ali: what if they were puppet children?
Kris: no, that's not real child porn, no matter how badly they was to be 'real boys'
Ali: what if one of my puppet children wanted to sex you?
Kris: i would not allow it
Ali: even if he were well hung?
Kris: i would concider it, as long as I didn't get splinters..wait, would that make me a child molester, even though they aren't real?
Ali: a puppet child molester, maybe?
Kris: is that a crime?
Ali: i dont think so...
Kris: Maybe in the year 2020 it will be...
Ali: if i was extra nice (or naughty, depending on your preferences) one month, do I get an extra sex?
Kris: only for christmas and your birthday
Ali: Would you allow me to name our son "Eric Shun"?"
Kris: yes, but only if I could name our daughter "Lisa Va Gina"
Ali: if our kid had cancer and his dying wish was for us to have sex for 3 hours straight in one night, would you?
Kris: I wouldn't have a choice..
Ali: would you enjoy it?
Kris: probably not
Ali: would you enjoy any of our intimacies?
Kris: probably not
Ali: would you fake a headache to get out of it?
Kris: prolly
Ali: do I get a raincheck for any canceled nights?
Kris: depends on my mood
Ali: how would we have kids if you don't enjoy the sex?
Kris: you don't have to enjoy it to have kids
Ali: you have to enjoy it enough to cum!
Kris: true, I'd probably just try really hard to think about man sex
Ali: would we share a bed?
Kris: yes, but you can't molest me in the middle of the night
Ali: does it count as molesting if I'm sleep fucking?
Kris: yes, because I'm a light sleeper and would wake you if you start to play with my deformity
Ali: -giggles-
Kris: you better be saving this conversation. I plan to use it as a contract for when we're married.